Too much focus on "performance" is sucking the life from you

In a performance-focused world, it’s very easy to fall into the trap of believing that our internal value is based on what we do…how we “perform.” 

In fact, this is probably one of the most common limiting beliefs I see in my coaching clients, and something I personally experience more often than I’d like. As common as it is, and as much as I’m aware that it’s something I experience, it can still creep in ever so quietly until its effect is wreaking havoc on me loud enough for me to notice it.

The problem with operating out of performance mode is that ultimately, it’s draining. It is an unsustainable way to live. You are enslaved to living up to standards that are often made up or are not objective truths. 

And when we live this way, it negatively impacts our motivation, how we see others, how we interact with others, how we see ourselves, how we feel in our jobs, how we see the world, and interact with it, and so much more.

Living in this way puts our focus on ourselves (our egos!) and prevents us from truly connecting with others, being present, being rooted in who we are authentically, and freely and effortlessly contributing to the greater collective with our authentic way of being

…because we are constantly working to manage the perceptions of how others see us instead. Even people pleasers who outwardly seem to focus on everyone BUT themselves are doing that to be seen a certain way…to be seen as valuable.

So how can we identify when we’re stuck in operating out of “performance-mode”?

Here are some questions that, if your answer is “yes,” indicate you might be…

• Does receiving constructive feedback derail you for a period of time? 

• Do you find yourself feeling defensive when people make comments about you or your work?

• Does it feel like no one actually sees you?

• Are you going above and beyond what’s needed in order to feel good about yourself, or in order for people to notice your efforts?

• When things don’t turn out the way you hoped after giving it your all, do you often wonder or get stuck in a cycle trying to figure out “what am I doing wrong?”

• Do you feel like you don’t even know who you really are or what you’re doing (or “supposed to be” doing) in life?

• Do you find yourself resentful when what you do goes unnoticed?

• Do you find yourself exhausted trying to “do and be all the things,” but still feel that nagging sense that it’s not good enough?

What do we do to get out of “performance-mode”?

There are quite a few tactics that can help us get out of performance-mode when we catch ourselves in it, but one of the main ways is to come back to being grounded in who you are authentically (when you’re not performing) and what really matters at the end of the day (or at the end of your life!), and then living and operating out of THAT instead of performing.

This might mean you have some discovery work to do if these things aren’t already clear to you! 

And yes, there are times in life when we have to perform. But don’t let THAT be what defines your ultimate value and worth. 

Want help in shifting from performance-mode to living from a place of grounded and confident authenticity? Our Limited Self and Core coaching engagement might be your roadmap there! Check out the details of that engagement by clicking here, or reach out to info@wayfindersleadership.com to set up a call with me to explore how I might be able to provide support in this area.

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